Game Over

She looks up into the sky, she sees nothing actually. Her gaze wanders between the grey skies. Breath in, breath out. She is alive but she never felt lifeless than this before. People look at her as if she is enjoying her day in the park, but deep down people does not know the fight that has been going on in her heart, on her mind, in her soul.

A long fight, that makes her tired, makes her just want to be up high in the sky or just six feet under, she does not care where, as long as it is not in between. Between this surrounding, between this hectic, between the routine.
Nobody hears her silent scream, her muted yearn for help because she keeps going on with a fake smile she puts on her mask. She looks in the mirror, people might see a good-looking young lady with sleepy eyes but what they do not know is what she looks in the mirror. She looks flesh and skin just like her in the mirror but it is cold, soulless, lifeless.
she smokes, she drinks, she takes occasional drugs just to get closer to her goal. One time, she was taking too much pressure, she felt it as if she was going to fly away from the burden but to just waking up on her cold bed on the next day.

Today.

Today is different and she knows it. She can feel it, it comes near to her. She knows today is the day.
She takes a long hot shower because this might be her last one. She puts her best dress and even put a simple make up on her face. She is smiling for the first time after God know how long it was. She feels it getting closer, her heart pounding like a jungle drum.
Ten…
Nine…
Eight…

She starts to count,

Seven…
Six…
Five…

She goes to her rooftop balcony, she feels the air fresher than ever, thinner than ever and she loves it.

Four…
Three…
Two…

Free fall and in that few seconds she feels it. She feels the air and the sun touching her skin. She hears the sound of her city, the chirping of the birds, the yelling and the shriek scream of a pedestrian.

One…

“Would you like to continue this journey?” She shakes her head as she closes her beautiful vibrant eyes.

Game Over.

danantidewi

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