Finally I could say to myself I am now a 20 something girl. It can lead to any confusion because honestly, I am not a girl anymore, but not yet a woman (Hello, Britney?).
Honestly as a 20 something girl, I learned much more than any other girl at same age. I left home by myself at a pretty young age, done almost everything by myself at the time. But I wasn’t always like that. Before, I was always good at school, good marks, good behaviour (quite rebel now and there), I respect my teacher, but I was a spoiled and lazy brat. Okay let’s be honest, I am pretty sure I would get everything that I wanted, if I spoke about it. I never do the house chores because duh “Hotel Mama” (It’s a German term when you still live with your mom) and even though I was at my father, his helpers would do the chores. So it was a surprised for people who know me to hear my decision to go abroad at such a young age. They were all wondering if I could survive alone in a foreign country. Even I was wondering to myself and at some point I doubted the idea of going abroad. Then, people talked about how impossible it was for me to be independent at such a young age remembered I was a spoiled kid. One thing that I like about me is whenever people doubt me, I want to prove them wrong and so now I proof them wrong. I kept going with the idea and I wanted to prove them wrong so badly. Look at me, survived and still alive in a foreign country that I’m starting to call it home.
One thing for sure, it was hard at first. It was hard to adjust from the distance, it was hard to adjust from the food, the weather, the culture and especially the language. The first two weeks were a living hell for me. All the time I was thinking about giving up the whole idea about going to school in Germany or living abroad in general. I just couldn’t stand it. It was a big culture shock for me, but then I met many new friends. They helped me little by little to adjust with the culture. They spoke to me everyday so I could improve my German quickly. I met lots other people with different background, we talked a lot about different things mostly about their culture, their value of family and their hobbies. At the time I realized that I like to meet people and talked about something deep and meaningful, not just an usual weather chit chat. Even though I am actually a shy and awkward person. For me to open up conversation with new people, is scary, exciting, nervous and curious at the same thing. The feelings are mixed into one. I notice that people are different, there are no identically same person. Each individual is interesting, inspiring and coming from different background with story to tell.
I learned a lot from them. I learned how to bake from a lady friend of mine, who can make the best green tea cake I’ve ever tasted, I learned how to grind a soapstone, I learned poetry. I know one time my first roommate was teaching me how to use dishwasher and washing machine because I’ve never done it myself before, at home there were always people who clean up after me. The first time I had to do it alone, I was nervous. I had that feeling if I touched a button, then it exploded, but it was just a paranoia and of course it was unreasonable. From that moment on, I did my own house-chores (Boom! in Your face people). I learned many skill from different people. I heard their story because I know I could learn something from them, but the true lesson I learn from people is, that we met for a reason. Sometimes they are staying with you the whole time and sharing your best laughter, your misery and angst, but not a few friends are just a hello or like intersections that are meet at a point and never meet again. One thing, I find it pitiful is when people you used to share your story with, now just to be somebody that you used to know. Maybe just like one of my used to close friend said, “time is changing and so is people.” Yes, a lot of things happened and it is amazing what a year can do. A stranger last year can mean so much to you and it is terrible to see someone who meant so much to you last year or last couple of months could be a stranger now.
Relax, let go, my life is in perfect flow,