I get it. You write

Probably many of my friends did not know about my passion in writing. However, for my very close friends, it is not a surprise. I have been writing since I was eight years old. At first I was writing in my  diary, just about some stuff that amazed, confused or fascinated me. It was just a  normal diary, but it holds many of my idea. Then, I started writing poems, lyrics, then lead to short stories. Just between us, I have been writing and renew my letter for my loyal friends every month, in case something happen to me and I did not have the chance to say what I want to say to them.

I love to write short story. It is not too short like a poem nor is it too long like a novel. Just perfect length. I do not write only about my personal experiences, but also from the stories around me. It could be about my friends, their feelings and their surrounding. I like to put myself in their point of view, so maybe that is why my short story always in a first-person point of view and my characters never have a name. It is just surprisingly easy for me if I put myself in their shoes and think about what would this character do if this or that happen. I could say I am not a big fan of happily-ever-after ending, mostly my main-character in my short stories would end up single, alone and dead. Very harsh to say, but for me tragedy, sadness, gloomy and melancholy make a short story reliable and accurate. You can feel pain more that you can feel happiness. While you feel in pain, you feel like there is a giant hole in your chest that you need to feel it up and that is when my short story comes in handy, with happiness you cannot feel it up. Instead, you just dig deeper the hole in your chest and it makes it heavier.

I posted some of my writings in my blog, one short story called Game Over. It sparked a huge “discussion” about this story. Everybody assumed that this story related to me and was worried I would end up like the main character in the story. Their reaction about the story was not without any reason. In the time I was still not over my first, long and serious relationship. It was a mess for me, my closest friends were always there and they were literally asking me every five minutes if I was okay. I won’t lie, the breakup was not a mess, there was no fight at all, but it gave a huge impact to my everyday performance. Anyway, that is why my friends all worried about me. Because of the big fuss about my sad-ending story I am now quite hesitate to publish another story because I don’t want to make my friends worry about me. Since then i have been writing three short stories and countless poems, but I didn’t have the intention yet to publish them. There is only this one person, I would show my writings too.

Let’s call him Mr. Scholar, he is the most honest, straightforward guy I have ever met. We mostly shared opinions about some things. Therefore, I would like him to read and made a comments about my writings. Every time I showed him my work, he always said, “You are very good at it.” and just like that it lifts up my confident. Not seldom he would give me advice how to make my story even better. Because of him I have the courage again to post my stories. I think as for now I’ll only post my writings. However please remember, don’t assume the stories are all about my personal life. Some of it might be, or just inspired by it.

Love,
Ayu

 

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